And so, I did nothing. Instead, I got depressed.

I wondered how I, as an individual, could combat something so systemic, so overwhelming?

The ah-ha moment came when a friend told me she’d recently discovered she was charging so much less than her male art director friend. 

Interesting, I thought.

Maybe we could close the wage gap, starting with ourselves.

However, judging from my own complicated relationship with my finances, it seemed clear that until we healed our relationship with money, we might still struggle to make more of it. 

And so I began hosting town halls first in New York City and then across the country, bringing together hundreds of women to have candid conversations on how to increase our self-worth and our net worth.

Hundreds turned into thousands and one thing was obvious, whatever we were struggling with, we were not alone. 

Because that was the email I got after every single event:

“I thought I was the only one.”

Transparency is transformative and what these women experienced and what I felt deep in my bones was that by sharing our stories, we were stronger together. 

Eventually, Ladies Get Paid became 55 thousand members from all across the world, and with 3 million messages exchanged, what I saw
was a desire for a different kind of education. 

Professional development that incorporated personal needs.
Individual steps with a collective mindset.
Inspiration yes, but most importantly, action. 

I got a master’s certificate in financial psychology and created a salary negotiation curriculum that got so many women so many raises, Harvard Business School invited me to teach it! 

Here’s what I realized though: to have the confidence to ask for more, means you must first have the conviction that you are worthy of it. 

And so I began teaching courses on self-trust, energy management, and career clarity, showing women how to create momentum from within, no matter their circumstances.

The United Nations came calling. So did PayPal, Facebook, and Microsoft. Nike. Citibank, Sofi. LinkedIn. Amazon. The New York Times. 

I even had the privilege of teaching (twice!) at NASA. 

My curriculum resonated because it came from the community and what I witnessed in our Slack and at our town halls.

Everything I coach on - ranging from strategies for job seekers to action plans for aspiring business owners - is founded on these two fundamental beliefs:

1️⃣ How we feel on the inside can’t be dictated by what’s going on on the outside.

2️⃣ We cannot let limited resources limit our dreams.

In my core, I believe this because I have lived this. 

Over the eight years since starting Ladies Get Paid,
I have lived eight million lives. 

At age 30, I realized I was gay and left an unhappy marriage.
I was sued and harassed by men’s rights activists.
The pandemic decimated my business.
My son, less than 24 hours after his birth, was diagnosed with severe congenital heart defects.
I have drowned in student loans and been billed for $3.1 million in medical debt.

But each of these experiences led to the most beautiful opportunities.

Marrying my co-founder.
Galvanizing thousands of people to donate hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Publishing a best-selling book.
Learning to work without burnout and to learning love myself without conditions. 

Here’s what I realized through it all:

These challenges didn’t just strengthen me, they MADE me.


They informed and inspired me to uncover new ways of being. Of doing. Of connecting.

I became a better coach because of it. A better business owner. A better mom. 

If what I’m saying resonates with you, this is the universe telling you:
We are meant to know each other.

Whether it’s bringing me in to speak for your organization, doing one-on-one coaching, joining a Goal Group, or subscribing to my newsletter and my podcast, please know that you have the power to reach your potential - and that I am beyond honored to get to be the person who guides you. 

I want to leave you with this last story. 

At one week old, my son Raphael had to have open heart surgery.

His heart, the size of a walnut.

The surgery was supposed to be three hours. It ended up taking ten.

Afterward, my wife and I met with the surgeon who told us that when they were taking him off bypass, the graft on his heart blew off.

All of their work, undone in an instant.

The surgeon was faced with a decision: he could close my son up and do the surgery again in 6-9 months, during which he would have to stay in the hospital.

Or, he could try and find another way in. 

With weary determination, Dr. Kim looked us in the eye and said: 

“I found another way in.” 

That is my mission in life.

Whatever you’re going through - we can find another way in.
A new approach. A different perspective.
A problem today can become an opportunity tomorrow.

Again, I have lived it, and so you can you.

But only together. I can’t wait to get started.